by Hallelujah Harris
There are African American women who are so damned DESPERATE to stay with a Black male that they will knowingly allow their husbands and men to engage in homosexual activity with not just other women, but also with other men. Oh, yes!
Many Black women just shake their heads and click their teeth saying, “Gurrrrllllll….you know that’s just how they are. They’re just doggs…that’s all…dogs!”
I reject that!
And I’mma tell you why…
Racist stereotypes about Black African American sexuality have permeated AmeriKKKan culture since the first Caucasian “explorer” got a glance at an African woman’s backside. The propaganda was invented to hide the white man’s lust and guilt rather than to depict anything valid about stolen African people. Casting the Black woman as a whore; a Jezebel is a means of dehumanizing her, making her less than and thus making her easier to victimize, terrorize and sodomize.
The same method has been utilized to dehumanize the African American man. From popular myths about the size of the Black male’s penis to the propaganda that casts our African kings as intellectually inferior, lazy, violent and over-sexed. AmeriKKKa has never failed to provide more than too many stereotypes about the Black man.
We are not whores, dogs and animals. We are KINGS and QUEENS!
Our men, our women and our future generations deserve much more than blanket statements that condemn us all. I still have faith in us as a people. I know that out there somewhere there are real Black men. I have even met quite a few of them. These men strive for greatness in all they do. They are honest, trustworthy and they are men of faith and character. These men are kings. They are real.
Good Black men are in the schools teaching our children. They labor in our struggling factories. They strive to climb the corporate ladders of America. They fight overseas. They read to their children and hold their wives in big strong arms every night. Yes, the media loves to put clowns on stage and in the news, but the real story of the African American man is overlooked. The negative image is put out so often that Black men themselves believe the hype. It then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. To continue to focus on Black clowns, to overlook our kings and totally give up on the Black African American man would be akin to giving up on the entire race. This will not do.
Sure, there will be those sistas and brothas who get all up in arms by the fact that I am airing this secret which is no secret at all. They will call me a Black-male-basher or anything else they can think of, but my main detractors are the main ones who know what I am talking about here. Some may choose to describe it differently or within different forums…but all y’all know what I’m talking about here! I cannot even count the number of times I have heard Black men’s basic response to Kwame’s ‘thang’ with Beatty:
“Listen, Kwame is a man and a man’s gonna do what a man’s gonna do…”
“Leave Kwame alone. He ain’t doin nothing that no other man ain’t done…”
“So he’s getting himself a lil piece of a—on the side. So what?”
“They all do it. Remember Bill Clinton? If a white man could do what do you expect from a Black man?”
“It’s a man thang---y’all wouldn’t understand…”
It goes on and disgustingly on.
This mode of thinking has resulted in an obvious self-fulfilling prophecy for African American’s and their marriages. Young Black men hear, see and feel the prevalence of this perspective on the Black male to such a degree that they accept it as truth on some level within their own consciousnesses. They begin to accept that it is just in their nature to be lechers. Some go as far as to believe that it is their God-given birthright to use women as some kind of ‘ass sampling platter’. Make no mistake, however, it’s not their right. It’s wrong and all African Americans are suffering due to this dysfunctional attitude about sex, manhood and fidelity.
Malone-Colon, an African American psychologist who is director of the Washington-based National Healthy Marriage Resource Center, a clearinghouse for resources for strengthening marriages states, "In a number of surveys, African-Americans report that they are less satisfied. They also report higher levels of conflict — even violence. Then there's the matter of domestic justice — sharing household responsibilities. And infidelity rates are higher among African-American men.” ( From:UunmarriedAmerica,org )
Luckily for me, my ex-husband’s foolishness all occurred in the early 90’s before e-mailing and text messaging became so prevalent. I feel very sorry for people married to immoral people today in high-tech, porn infested, texting cyber-land because it’s increasingly easy and tempting for the lechery and dishonesty to slither under the marital radar screen. This is not only affecting African American marriages and families, but also all American families. It’s awful.
I shudder to think what I would have gone through if my ex had easy access to a computer, a Blackberry and God please forbid a web-cam, back when we were married. Yes, in the 90’s those things existed but were not yet as commonplace as they are today. Adultery, of course, is as old as King David and my ex was bound and determined to do whatever he wanted to do with or without technological communication aids. A person is either going to be honest and faithful or not. If they lack decency and commitment there really is nothing that can be done. You have to just get out of their wayward way and let them go for whatever the hell they know. And that is exactly what I did.
Kilpatrick apparently fully utilized today’s technology to communicate with Beatty and if the transcripts of their text messages are valid, it reveals their total lack of regard for decency, marriage and children. For Detroit Kilpatrick and Beatty are complete and total embarrassments. Neither represent or symbolize what true Black kings and Black queens are essentially about at their core for while everyone makes mistakes, much more is required of those who have been given and entrusted with so much.
In the midst of all of this I shudder to think of what levels of depravity my ex-husband would have sunk to in our marriage if we had then what we now have in terms of tech-tools and communication devices. Luckily for me, cell phones had not yet become as popular and widely used as they are today. If he’d text messaged or emailed from his work computer I may have never read the disgusting details of my husband’s sexual encounters with a female that we had both attended and graduated from high school with. I might have spent years sharing a bed with a man and by osmosis any number of whorish, immoral, desperate females…or males on the so-called ‘down-low’. Who knows? With my low down ex-husband anything would be quite possible because his basic motto is, “If it feels good—do it! (Or screw it as the case may be.)
It is truly a scary time for all people in the world today and Black women are increasingly in a more vulnerable and dangerous position. People wonder why African American women are contracting HIV/AIDS at such a higher and faster rate than everyone else. In very many cases African American women are becoming infected with HIV/AIDS due to having unprotected sex with their husbands, other women’s husbands and long-term significant others. I did not realize it at the time but the longer I stayed with my ex spouse, the more I was risking infection with HIV/AIDS and all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases.
Why are so many Black women and men not taking the HIV/AIDS crisis more seriously?
END OF PART 3
Hallelujah Harris
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